


Caffeinated Courtship in a 52oz Mug

by outsideth3box



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: 100-1000 Words, Coffee, First Kiss, Humor, M/M, Pre-Slash, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-26
Updated: 2010-03-26
Packaged: 2017-10-08 08:00:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/74418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/outsideth3box/pseuds/outsideth3box
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the BubbaKEG fic, because there wasn't one, and there needs to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Caffeinated Courtship in a 52oz Mug

**Author's Note:**

> Realism is light, it's just a thinly veiled excuse to make the boys smooch. McSmooch fic.  
> Wordcount: 850  
> Disclaimer: not mine, no profit, no infringement intended.

McKay stepped past a box of smallish Ancient gadgets marked "Absolutely Deadly –If It Doesn't Kill You, McKay Will!" and sat down at his table, still tapping away at his datapad. When he reached out to open his laptop his hand encountered an obstruction, and he looked up, taking a deep breath in preparation for verbally tearing the soul out of whoever had put their junk on his desk, but released it instead with a confused, "What?"

Okay, it was huge. And blue. And it had a handle. Like a cup would have, if it were hit with an anti-shrink ray like in Honey, I Blew Up The Kid, which Rodney would die without ever admitting he'd seen. There wasn't a single exploding child in it, after all. Very disappointing.

It was vaguely barrel-shaped and had a cover, through which delicious-smelling steam was escaping, and Rodney knew that smell. It was coffee. Good coffee. And according to the letters embossed on the metal band across the center - ["BubbaKEG 52"](http://pics.livejournal.com/outsideth3box/pic/00065z44) \- it was _fifty-two ounces_ of the good stuff.

"Who put this here?" He demanded, glaring around the lab. Everyone ducked, and suddenly had projects in other places to attend to.

Zelenka popped his head up from behind his laptop. "It was there already. I arrived first and," he shrugged, "it was there." When McKay growled, Zelenka picked up his laptop and left, shaking his head.

McKay's first thought, after "who?" was, "why?" and then whether someone would really waste 52 ounces (fifty-two ounces!) of Kona to poison him, since 6 ounces would get his attention as easily, if not, perhaps, as completely. It seemed extraordinarily unlikely, so he lifted the giant mug and took a sip, then a swallow. Oh yes, that was good.

Someone had done this for a reason. And Rodney suddenly needed to know who, with an intensity beyond even his burning desire to know how to build ZPM's or how to run the shield and cloak at the same time. Even his poor people skills were clear that no one gave away huge freaking barrels of very precious and expensive coffee unless they _liked_ you. Someone liked him. He was being wooed.

This was...well, this was completely unprecedented. No matter. With his incredible intelligence he'd figure it out in a flash. Time to make a list. Maybe a spreadsheet. _Someone gave him coffee!_

Sheppard wandered into the lab around the time McKay had started using his list to fill in his spreadsheet, and leaned over Rodney's shoulder to peer at the screen.

"People who don't immediately leave the room when I walk in," Sheppard read. "Hey, my name's not on there."

"Oh, you don't count," McKay said, waving in Sheppard's direction.

"I don't count? Why not?"

McKay excitedly spun his chair to face Sheppard.

"I'm being wooed." McKay actually bounced in his seat. "I mean I think so. It's one of those things that's so hard to tell, because, well, people, and then there's the question of why, but I really do think...and you, well, of course you're hot and gorgeous and everything but, Chaya...and then there were all those...but seriously, coffee! Somebody likes me!"

"You're being wooed. By somebody."

Sheppard's eyes were twinkling, and McKay raised his chin defiantly, "Hey! I'm plenty... woo-worthy! I'm brilliant and decent looking and, and..." His shoulders slumped. "And none of the people on this list actually have the option of leaving the room when I show up. I'm mostly counting staff meetings and Jennifer." He squinted at Sheppard, "And you think I'm being stupid. Not that I can actually be stupid, because, you know, genius, but..."

"No, Rodney," Sheppard said in a quiet voice. "I think you've got it almost right."

There was a loud click from somewhere behind Sheppard and then Sheppard's hand was on the back of Rodney's neck, thumb stroking gently and Rodney gasped.

"But..." He blinked. "You're not on the list."

"I noticed that."

"You're straight."

"Hmm. Not so much." And Sheppard leaned forward, slowly, telegraphing every inch of the way, but Rodney didn't move away. Of course, he didn't stop talking, either.

"Are you saying, wait, does this mean yoummmph!"

And then there were soft, delicate kisses tripping across his lips, from side to side, and just a tiny kitten-lick of tongue on the curve of his bottom lip and John used his own lips to grasp Rodney's top one and suck ever so gently, scraping lightly with his teeth and slipping his tongue just inside, just barely testing for consent to enter. Rodney's breath started coming in swift, sharp gasps and he could feel his whole body flash with heat and he opened his mouth to say yes, god yes, please, but all that came out was a wobbly moan as John's tongue slipped into his mouth and started to explore.

Forever later, John pulled back enough to rest his forehead against Rodney's with a huge grin and a quiet chuckle. "You taste like coffee."

"Yeah," said Rodney, with a grin of his own. "I'm being wooed."


End file.
